Why So Serious? All I Need Is You
by RebelliousUndead
Summary: Let's just say, to all Joker and Batman fans who don't like them together together, don't read. If you want a laugh or whatever read and find out what's going on in it. Joker/Batman Harvey/Alfred
1. Interrogation Room Scene

Jim Gordon stood up and unlocked the Joker's handcuffs.

"If we're going to play games, i'm going to need a cup of coffee," he grumbled whilst walking to the door.

"Ah, the old good-cop bad-cop routine?" asked the Joker, while he was playig with his fingers happily.

"Not exactly," he hissed and left the Joker in the room in complete and utter darkness. Ten minutes went by and nothing happened.

"Sorry i'm late. The traffic was a real fucking nightmare," Batman said as he walked through the front door to the interrogation room.

"Oh geez," the Joker said looking at Batman in a strange way. _What a sexy guy, _thought the Joker.

The lights suddenly came back on and Batman pulled the chair out from under the desk and sat on it, the opposite to the smirking Joker.

"So how are we going to do this?" said Batman wiggling his eyebrows.

"It's your choice hot shot," replied the Joker leaning forward to get a better look at his sexual fantasy man.

"The corner or the table?" taunted Batman edging closer and closer to the Joker.

"Oh, the table will be just fine. The corner is too small. You can't get any action," answered the Joker whilst pushing his chair out making a scraping noise across the floor to stand up.

"The table it is then," said Batman whilst sorting his trusty belt that had seriously to many wepons on. It was a wonder that it stayed in place.

"Now we're talking," said the Joker whilst letting his eyes scan Batman up and down very, extremely slowly to take every detail in.

"Let's get it on," said Batman, placing his hands onto the table and began rising from the chair. He went round to the other side of the table where the Joker was standing, staring.

"Come and get some," the Joker said, taunting Batman with a wide grin plastered to his face.

"Oh i will," replied Batman whilst grabbing ahold of the Joker's collar and twisting him round to smack him down on the table.

"Now we're getting somewhere," said the Joker holding as tightly as he possibly could onto Batman's muscled arms.

"You be -," Batman only got to say part of what he wanted to say because at that very moment Jim Gordon walked through the door with two cups of steaming hot coffee in both hands.

"Oh. My. God," A shell-shocked JIm said dropping both cups of coffee to the dirty grey floor below him.

"This is exactly what it looks like," said Batman as he looked from the Joker to Jim and his gaze remained to where Jim was standing in utter shock.

"Ok that's it," Jim grabbed Batman and pulled him away from the Joker. After only a few seconds later, his gaze averted to the Joker. "You stay where you are," Jim looked away and turned his attension to Batman and began pushing and dragging him out of the room.

"NO! I will see you again my lover and nothing can stop that!," Batman said whilst shaking his fist in the air to emphasise his point to the Joker.

Suddenly the door to the interrogation room slamed closed and the Joker got off of the table and sat on the floor a bit away from the table.

"Maybe we should have used the floor instead," muttered the Joker as he positioned himself to lean against the cold stone wall.


	2. The Party Scene

Bruce Wayne held a little party for his second choice as a lover. He wasn't as good looking as the Joker, not near enough, but he would do. Harvey Dent. Bruce's second choice even though he was already taken. The guests enjoyed themselves in ways that Bruce wasn't interested in, but it did involve food, drinks and a game of strip twister. Bruce decided to go out onto the balcony for some 'fresh air'. Rachel Dawes joined him only mere moments later.

"Harvey may know how to have a good time at a party, but what he doesn't know is that you were trying to make a move on him," she said a little upset that Harvey had turned from straight to gay in a matter or a few days.

"Your just jealous because he turned gay on you," taunted Bruce, resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at her like a childish... child.

"No, you just want to know if his sausage is as big... or small as yours," replied Rachel, coming back with the best come back she could think of whilst casting a serious face.

"Okay, you got me," Bruce said, holding his hands up as if someone was going to shot him. The fanatsy of the Joker had come back into his mind but that all disappeared moments after it started. It didn't even get to end.

Bruce and Rachel were talking to much, well arguing, to even noticed that Harvey was standing at the door looking back and forth between both of them. Scanning Bruce all over, Harvey cleared his throat to show that he was there.

"You throw a good party Wayne. Mind if i borrow Rachel?," Harvey asked not taking his eyes off of Bruce, not even when Rachel gave him the look of 'im going to smack you later bitch' to emphasis her point that she hated Harvey being gay.

Bruce nodded and Rachel, although mad, walked away. Bruce looked back at Harvey and turned his head side ways to the left and gazed down at Harvey's ass and thought, _mine mine mine_. After the thought entered and left his mind, he heard a gunshot coming from inside his sexual apartment.

The Joker and his men came throught the doors of the elevator and fired a few shots into the ceiling before it ended up falling in and smaking one of the men on the head. Only part of the ceiling though.

"Oh birds as cock," one of the men said before regaining his balance and turning away from the gasping looks of the partiers.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," the Joker called out as pleasantly as he possibly could, "We are tonight's... entertainment," he grabbed a party snack from a plate of a random party goer and began skipping around, swaying his arms back and forward whilst flipping his hands at the same time.

"Joker! Your not invited here!," Bruce called out, entering the apartment and making his position stand to the side with his hands on his hips and hands balled into fists.

"Oh really?," asked the Joker, disguarding what was left of the snack and walking over to Bruce.

"What are you on?," asked Bruce with a sort of sudden curiousity as he began taking steps backwards away from the Joker whilst a random woman squeezed his ass at the same time.

"Tea bag," replied the Joker as he began his crazy needing-to-go-to-a-mental-asylum laugh for all to hear.

"Tea bags?," asked Bruce raising his eyebrow and bitch slapping the random womans hand away from him. His ass was for the Joker only.

"Yes, but not just any tea bags, their Tesco valur tea bags," said the Joker whilst walking around, tearing his eyes away from Bruce to look at everyone else. It was very difficult for him to do that.

"Why not pixie dust?," asked Bruce, moving to where the alcoholic drinks were sitting. Unfortunately he had to use a bottle opener to get the alcohol.

"It's not as good as tea bags," replied the Joker, looking at Bruce happily, "I have one question, where is Harvey Dent?"

No response was given. The Joker pouted.

"Okay then. Any loved ones here?," asked the Joker turning his attension to only looking at the men in the room. Men in suits.

"You can't intimidate us," scolded and old guy. The Joker peered at him to the side and finally said, "Well hello hot mama. I've never laid eyes on anyone so lovely as you. You know you remind me of my ex-boyfriend, Tony Cox," the Joker grabbed the old guy's head and prssed the switchblade into the guy's mouth. _Yuck, old foggie silva. Got to wash the switchblade. Got to wash the switchblade. Got to wash the... bugger it. _"I _hated _my ex-boyfriend. He always liked older men. You would have been perfect for him."

At that moment none other than Harvey Dent walked through the door, gasping at the sight that his fragile eyes saw.

"Joker! You leave my man alone!," shouted Harvey pointing to no other than Alfred Pennyworth.

"Ew... you have got to be kidding me," the Joker said, pretending to gag as if he was going to be sick. _Pervert. Pervert. Pervert. Raping pervert._

"Harvey, you said you would wait for me," Bruce said, running out of the room like a sisy girl flapping her arms around, crying.

"I thought my life was strange. I guess i was wrong," the Joker said looking at the door where Bruce ran out a few seconds ago.

Five minutes went past and the talking continued. Harvey was now beside his man whilst the Joker was backing away in silence. Batman entered the room before the Joker could even step foot out of it.

"Ah my lover. Your coming with me," the Joker said, grabbing a hold of Batman's arm and dragging him out of the room and away from the party.

"NOOOOOES!," shouted Batmen as he began trying to break free of the Joker. It wasn't working out very well. It looked very wrong to the Joker and Batman's mind.

The Joker and Batman left the party and it resumed as it did before the disturbing event happened. Joker and Batman had went to a fancy food place and then they went to the Joker's place to do God knows what. Possibly (fill in blank space here with your perverted mind) dot dot dot.


End file.
